Let's Just Forget About This One

Java Junkies infinity-seven, Grub Street Word-Slingers one

By Matt Frederick

Fresh off a dominating victory the previous week, the Grub Street Word-Slingers took the diamond Sunday expecting big things. The big thing to emerge was an early deficit, as the orange-clad Java Junkies scored several billion times in the first inning to take the lead, several billion to zero. The Junkies added several dozen more dingers in the second and third innings to increase their lead to eleventy-twelve skillion to nothing, despite Matt Biewener's conscientous patrolling of Church Street beyond the left field fence.

Fueled by several swinging bunts, the Word-Slingers built a two-out threat in the bottom of the third, putting runners on first and second. But the rally died when Matt Frederick's drive toward the warning track in left was hauled in by the Junkies' pitcher a little bit in front of third base.

Jon Papernick relieved the starting pitcher in the top of the fourth and finally quieted the Junkies' attack with a variety of illegal pitches. Papernick then led the offense in the bottom of the fourth by singling and scampering all the way home on a double by someone or other; no one is sure who as we weren’t paying much attention by this point.

With the Word-Slingers prowess having been made apparent, the game was called by the umpire after the bottom of the fourth inning on account of it not resembling softball.